The Gawler Show

The other night, as ‘B’ and I were turning in, I remembered we wanted to look up what was on at The Gawler Show this coming weekend. Particularly, to see if there were any sheep dog trials. Unfortunately not – but there are many coming up and, of course, I can see them at The Adelaide Show. While perusing the website we found this list of banned items. Please note that this list is not just for The Gawler Show but a Federally mandated list. My oh my, did we giggle until lights out.

 

So, I’ve written a poem in parody of that same Federally mandated list:

 

Heading to Gawler for the annual Show

Overhear a yokel bogan kid sayin’:

“Got me pellet gun in its holster

and me stink bombs down below”

 

I’m lookin’ to buy some chuck feed

Bet those yokel bogan pups can’t forget –

their bongs ‘n’ weed

they have such a need to get ….

See even more junior yokel bogans

suppin’ cider

playin’ nakid poker

The cards are nakid

Them kids are clothed

Fake ciggies they’re smokin’

Fart gas they’re tootin’

 

I’m eatin’ a pasty …

Fireworks start cracklin’

One of those kids – up he gets

Got a t-shirt on ‘im

covered in nakid majorettes

Starts zippo-ing –

strip caps

His mates are water-bombing

stray cats

 

Lukin’ roundabout for the missus

I cast me eye on sumtin’ even more suspicious

A pointer laser beamin’ on

Samurai swords and martial art nunchakas

I move me hand south to protect me maracas

 

Bless meself, I’m back on the road

Couldn’t be hangin’ ‘round –

BEDLAM!

Behind me …

The Gawler Show explodes!

 

I guess them kids they filled those fart bombs and balloons

with all the paraphernalia they’re meant to consume

 

Or, maybe …

The Show, was full of fair dinkum people

heading out for the day

to buy some chuck feed

see friends

and say ‘hey!’

 

It’s sad when advertising of a prestigious local event

uses up more copy slating attendees

(it’s affecting rents)

than buoying up locals sayin’:

What a unifying event!

 

Rather than –

havin’ out-of-towners worryin’ ‘bout

the intent

of fair dinkum people headin’ out for the day

to catch up with friends, rellies, and neighbours

to say ‘Hey!’

 

Maybe kids are just kids and people are just people

and the labels we put on each other aren’t useful or truthful

Maybe there are no ‘yokel bogans’, ‘them kids’, or ‘those people’

 

Maybe there’s just you and I

heading to The Gawler Show

We might eat a pasty –

buy some chuck feed –

Say: “Hi!”

 

We hope to see you at The Gawler Show this weekend and I hope to be taken to The Gungellan Hotel (yes, it is the one from McLeod’s Daughters) for a bevvy and some grub after.  I’ll be on the look out for hardcore t-shirts, pressure pack snow, and potato guns – my peepers will be peeled at all times.

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